Oh, the midlife crisis… It’s something we all dread, but never realize until it’s too late. We definitely see a lot of them here in Naples, where the average age of people is higher than in most places!
Bright red and neon green convertibles, new extreme sport hobbies, and motorcycles are common signs that your loved one may be going through this inevitable part of life. Everyone wants to have fun, even those who are about to go “over the hill.” There is nothing wrong with a midlife crisis; it’s just something that needs to be recognized, at least by a family member or close friend. Because once this realization happens, you can help the 50 year old (or 60 since we’re all living longer!) 1st time-motorcycle owner make good decisions about their crisis, whether they realize it or not.
Why Do we Have These Midlife Meltdowns?
Midlife crises actually are not stress-induced, as most folks think. They are actually due to the fact that, most of the time, people have much more control of their lives and the resources to use to do the things they couldn’t when they were 20 years old. This is important to understand, so that you don’t treat the one having the crisis like he/she is just too stressed out.
The exact opposite is probably true. The stresses that you would think cause this midlife crisis actually help keep a person focused and grounded. When these stressors are relieved, like paying off the house and car, kids are all in college, or getting an awesome promotion, it creates a sense of freedom and stress-free thinking which sends them into this midlife crisis.
Embrace the Crisis Mobile
Let’s talk about some ways to help your loved one through their midlife crisis intelligently, safely, and effectively. Since it happens often, we’ll use the typical “old guy, new motorcycle” scenario.
When your loved one expresses interest in getting this “crisis-mobile”, go with them to look at some bikes. Prepare ahead of time to familiarize yourself with various types and names of motorcycles. This will allow you to talk the 1st time rider out of a Ninja ZX-14 (not a beginner’s bike)…
Going informed will allow you to get them looking at something more practical and less dare-devilish. You might want to steer them towards a cruiser of some sort, and getting them to really listen to the experts in the motorcycle shop may be the biggest advantage to the new rider.
Before you agree to having a “hog” parked out in the garage (getting him to clean out a space for it first is always bound to buy some time), you can also suggest a test drive. Lots of places, including many motorcycle dealerships like your local Harley Davidson offer rental bikes for a few hours, a day or even a weekend. Let him feel that wind whipping through his graying hair before you commit to making a down payment.
Once his heart is set on that “chopped and bobbed” old school cruiser with huge ape hangers and a “suicide clutch”, also be sure to talk to them about getting some proper riding gear. Although it’s often rather expensive, riding gear has been proven to save lives, limbs, and other body parts. Boots, gloves, a jacket with spine protector, and especially a helmet are bare minimums and should all be chosen carefully, as fit and reliability is very important. When it comes to the helmet, be sure to buy one that is DOT certified.
Something else the “crisis rider” may not be thinking about is insurance. That’s what you’re there for though, right? Do some research and do not give them the opportunity to put it off until it’s too late. Especially for a 1st time rider, motorcycles are dangerous. Motorcycle insurance can protect them from everything from repairs to the car involved in a wreck to medical bills for skin grafts, which are common after motorcycle wrecks. Because let’s face it, wrecks happen easily and often, especially with inexperienced and inattentive drivers.
So remember, a midlife crisis is not something that you really need to “fix”, but rather something you can assist with. It isn’t a sign that your loved one is too stressed out, but a sign that they are finally comfortable in life. Embrace the changes and enjoy the new fun person who evolves. Just make sure they don’t go too overboard and think they’re this guy!
photo credits: DSC_0607 and Beginnings of an arch via photopin (license)
