This post is one of many that you will find throughout the week on No Ordinary Homestead about infertility, because this blog has been dedicated to National Infertility Awareness Week (April 24-30). This is being done to raise awareness on behalf of the millions of people, male and female, who have ever been infertile or are considered infertile today.

If you are new to the infertility world, you may not yet have heard the name Melissa Ford or been on the blog of the Stirrup Queens (which is a treasure trove of information and you owe it to yourself to visit if you are learning about the Land of IF). She is also the author of Navigating the Land of IF, a comprehensive guide to finding your way around in the sea of information available about infertility options and treatments — while still keeping your head together. NOH is thrilled to be giving a copy away, so please hop over here and enter.

Melissa was kind enough to spare a few moments of her time (between balancing blogs, writing books and raising twins who arrived after an IUI with injectables cycle) and answer a few questions about her experiences in infertility, her book and surviving life when it throws you a curve ball.

Thanks so much for your time, Melissa. If you don’t mind, would you start by sharing with us, what was your initial IF diagnosis and how did you first handle the news?

My diagnosis came in little bits over time, with one part — my clotting disorders — coming after the birth of the twins.  I can’t say that I handled the news well.  I had been under the belief that I’d get pregnant on the first try.  It was a shock to be over a year into trying and heading to a reproductive endocrinologist instead of holding a baby.

You’ve shared so much of your life with the world. Are you this open with everyone in real life or was this a decision you struggled with?

I’ve always been very open in the face-to-face world in speaking about infertility so it wasn’t a big jump to write about it online.  I can’t say that I’m always dry-eyed when writing about it, but taking the thoughts out of my head and looking at them on the screen is tremendously helpful.

Your book is written with candor and humor — is that how you approach life in general?

Maybe?  I hope so?  I’m very open because I know how much other people’s openness helped me while I was struggling.  When I was trying to build that well of knowledge so I knew which questions to ask.  I hate the idea of anyone else struggling with the knowledge side in addition to the actual physical, emotional, and financial sides to infertility.

You have such a positive, open outlook on all that IF is. Many people will let a diagnosis that they will probably never conceive children on their own devastate them. How did you manage to find that strength & keep the positivity going?

I can’t say that I’ve always been the most positive person.  There have been plenty of nights curled into a ball, crying.  What I will say is that it helped that I’ve never denied myself any feelings.  I’ve never told myself to buck up or not feel what I’m going to feel.  I think the only way through infertility is through it, and you can’t brush those accompanying feelings under a rug and have life still be healthy.

You’ve not only written an incredibly comprehensive book, but also have a vault of information and support with the Stirrup Queens blog, you support other IF bloggers through LFCA, you have a family you are raising after being blessed with twins — how do you pack so many hours in your day?

Ha — a lot of coffee.  I’m a good multi-tasker.  I also set a lot of limits.  When I’m online, I’m online.  And when it’s time to be offline, I won’t go near the computer.  I think having clear boundaries — a start and end to every task — makes me more productive.  At least, it works for me.

You’ve created these amazing communities of support, hope, love and understanding for reproductively challenged women and men around the world. It all started because of you own personal needs for emotional support — but did you ever thing you’d receive this kind of response?

Not this response, though I suspected that if I wanted something, that there were others out there that wanted it too.  Such as the blogroll.  I built that for myself, but then made it public so everyone could use it.  And yes, it turned out that I wanted it and thousands of others wanted it too.  So it’s there for everyone to use.  The emotional support has been amazing.  I can’t imagine my life without the online world and the very human humans on the other end of those computers!

There must have been so much advice, both bad and good, over the past few years. What words of wisdom have you received that made this journey easier?

Carla Cohen told me to “just wing it” in regards to life in general.  To not giving into those feelings of helplessness and just plowing through the disappointments of life.

My sister told me that I should do anything I needed to do to get through a crisis as long as I didn’t create more problems for myself or others on the back end.  And that served me well too.

What are 3 pieces of advice you would give those newly diagnosed with fertility challenges?

1. Get a good support system in place whether that’s from the face-to-face world, the online world or a blend of both.
2. Get educated — the best patient is one who can advocate for themselves and ask the right questions.
3. And be kind to yourself — this is a hard journey and you need yourself to be on your side, not slinging self-doubt and self-anger at you.