“Life is difficult,” said M. Scott Peck in his book, The Road Less Travelled. Only too often, we rebel against this simple truth because we think it should be easier or less painful. Let’s take a closer look at how unexpected impediments, obstacles, and failures can make life difficult.
- Impediments
When we experience an unexpected impediment or blockade, for instance, discovering that we need to make some unplanned home repairs, we are merely derailed from our normal course of actions. Paying for home repairs is going to cost us more money than we had planned for.
If we don’t have the money available for a financial emergency, we can always apply for cash advance loans. All that is necessary to qualify is to have a verifiable source of income, an active checking account, and a social security card.
- Obstacles
When we experience an obstacle, it means that we have been frustrated in our attempt to reach a goal. We feel stuck, our aspirations have been stymied.
If, for instance, you buy a real estate course on house flipping– determined to increase your income by learning how to buy houses with no money down, fix them up, and then sell them at a profit–then you may consider your bosses insistence at your construction job to put in more overtime work as a roadblock.
You are frustrated because you know you could quadruple your income in the next few months if you weren’t forced to work more hours at your low paying job. You’re also frustrated because you can’t find the time to follow your insights on how to become financially free. In truth, however, your reality is the same as it has always been, but because you can envision a better future for yourself, you find it difficult to keep on doing the same old things.
- Failures
Finally, there are failures that arise despite your heroic efforts to avert disaster.
You may be running a company, for instance, putting in 60 hour weeks to keep it afloat, but because your business partner skipped town after draining the business bank account, you find yourself unable to pay the bank back for the loan.
Although it’s not your fault, you may blame yourself. Maybe you should have researched your partner’s background, or noticed some warning signs of dishonesty, or been less naïve about finances.
A failure can be so devastating that you have no idea how to turn things around, who to ask for help, or what to do when things fall apart.
How to Make Bad Things Much Worse
When faced with a crisis of any kind, we often default to doing all the wrong things.
Here are some of the things that you should not do to gracefully handle a crisis:
- Blame other people for your misfortunes.
- Fault yourself for an inability to predict the future.
- Blow up at other people, who, in retrospect, will turn out to be innocent bystanders of your tragedy.
- Beat yourself up for not knowing in advance what you had no way of knowing.
- Feeling helpless, frightened, guilty or a host of other negative emotions.
While it’s natural to want to strike out or stew, it’s unproductive. This is not to say that you need to suppress your feelings, but realize that these are only feelings, not facts, which means there is no need to take them seriously or act on them.
What to Do After Running into a Brick Wall
- Give yourself time to heal from the shock.
Take time to feel your feelings until they burn right through you. If you’ve had a tragic event, don’t stop yourself from crying. Eventually, you’ll get to a point where you’ve exhausted your well of emotional pain. It’s the most therapeutic thing you can do when you’re in a state of deep pain.
- Seek help.
If help is available, ask for it. Of course, you have to be careful, asking only the people qualified to help you. Ideally, speak to a professional who has the knowledge and experience you need to get some new answers.
- Take constructive action.
Only by taking constructive action will you be able to introduce a new causal factor into the equation and begin to turn things around.
In conclusion, you can overcome anything by avoiding the wrong responses and consciously deciding to choose the right responses. The right response will work every time–it doesn’t matter if it’s an inconvenient issue, like a knocking sound in your car engine when you drive; a frustrating issue, like getting passed over for a promotion despite being the most qualified person in the office; or a catastrophe, like getting a grim medical diagnosis from your doctor during your annual physical checkup.
