national-infertility-awareness-weekThis post is one of many that you will find throughout the week on No Ordinary Homestead about infertility, because this blog has been dedicated to National Infertility Awareness Week (April 24-30). This is being done to raise awareness on behalf of the millions of people, male and female, who have ever been infertile or are considered infertile today. If you or someone you know is dealing with fertility problems, you might enjoy Navigating the Land of IF — you can win a copy here this week.


Today I’d like to introduce you to Sarah Q from Sparkles and Fairy Tales. She is a married housewife and full time student. She and her husband started trying to conceive in March 2009, shortly after getting married.

When asked to describer herself, she says, “I am very social and love spending time with friends and family but I also love my quiet time alone with a good book.”

Thanks so much for taking the time to share your story with us. Could you give us a rundown of what the last couple years have entailed along your journey.

March 2009- Threw out the birth control pills.

April 2009- large cyst rupture on my ovary

Nothing happened for months, no period, nothing so September 2009 I headed to the Dr. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and possible PCOS.

December 2009- My first clomid cycle and official PCOS diagnosis at my mid-cycle ultrasound.

Three more clomid cycles followed, all with my regular ob-gyn. When nothing was happening, no ovulation or anything, we headed to an RE in April 2010.

Huge cyst on my left ovary benched us for four months. But I did manage to get my HSG done in that time. All clear!! Husband’s semen analysis also came back with spectacular numbers.

We moved to Florida and I immediately got in with an RE here.

August 2010- My first femara and trigger shots cycle. I ovulated for the first time in 3 years! Huge progress but not pregnant.

September 2010- I didn’t respond to the femara at all. Cycle cancelled and got really depressed.

October 2010- My first cycle of femara, follistim, and trigger shots. Three mature follicles!!! We thought for sure this was the month it would happen. Hopes were high. BFN and sunk into depression. I was so upset and really felt like giving up altogether.

RE convinced me to try one more cycle and I gave in.

November 2010- 2nd cycle with femara, follistim, and trigger shots. I followed all orders but my heart was not in this cycle. I figured it was impossible for me to get pregnant.

We went to Boston on vacation during my two week wait and I happily forgot about baby making and just enjoyed our vacation.

December 9, 2010- At one day late (and the first time I tested that cycle) BFP! Shock followed.

Beta- 541

December 11, 2010- Beta 1704

Currently 6 months pregnant with a baby boy. Due in August.

It seems like it has been a tumultuous experience. How has infertility affected your identity and your relationships?

    For me infertility colored everything. I felt like I was less of a woman and I just couldn’t measure up. I felt alone and that not many people understood what I was going through.

    I especially felt like my husband couldn’t understand even though I could see he was desperately trying to. In some ways infertility tore us apart and brought us closer together all at the same time.

    In what ways has infertility changed you and your view of life?

      I don’t take anything for granted anymore. I never expect things should happen just because they happen to others or because I’ve just always expected them to.

      I also think infertility has made me realize I am stronger than I ever knew.

      Every deals with infertility differently and has to decide how it has guided and changed their own life. Have you been open about your fertility with friends and family?

        I was silent for awhile but now I am very vocal about it. I feel like it is so ignored and so many people don’t even consider it a problem so I speak out about it whenever possible.

        I thought about censoring for awhile because talking about your reproductive organs embarasses some people but I’ve gotten past that and now I talk about our experience all the time. I am not ashamed of the lengths we went to for this child and I will talk about it for the rest of my life.

        Has your battle with infertility changed your views about motherhood?

          I think that I won’t take it for granted. I’ve thought long and hard about the mother I want to be and while I know I will make plently of mistakes, I know that these mistakes are mine to make and any child of mine will be so loved it’s ridiculous.

          What are some of the most insensitive comments and unsolicited advice you’ve gotten regarding infertility?

            Hmmm. I hated being asked if we were ‘doing it wrong’. Pretty sure we mastered sex years ago. I also hated being told that we were thinking about it too much and spending too much money (although we were very very fortunate in that our insurance covered everything).

            But I hated more that when I did try and talk to someone about it they brushed it off and acted like it didn’t exist.

            You’ve come all this way — I’m sure there must have been a lot of support as well. How were others there to help and how did you help yourself?

              Just the people who were there no matter what. The ones who didn’t try and give advice but were there to listen to the tears, the rants and the frustrations. I appreciate them more than anyone will ever know.

              Honestly, not much kept me positive when I hit my low points. I couldn’t see past where I was to see what may be ahead.

              In the end I had to try and be thankful that I had a loving and amazing husband and no matter what I was blessed with far more than others, even if we ended up childless.

              When have you felt the most or least supported in your journey?

                I think I felt least supported in times where my husband acted like shooting yourself up with hormones every night was just no big deal. At the same time, when I called attention to this (in a hormonally induced rage) he immediately saw how it was affecting me and changed.

                Really, through it all, he was my rock.

                In the end, though, I found I lost a lot of support when I got pregnant. When I was going through all the crap and hard times, I had so many supporters. But when I got that BFP I would say that 97% of those people were gone. While it was and is a joyful time in my life I did feel abandoned for a while.

                Is there anything else you’d like to share or add?

                  I would like to say that I am extremely thankful for the point we are at right now. I am beyond shocked and astonished to find myself here.

                  Infertility taught me a lot. It taught me to be gracious and thankful for the things I did have. It also taught me to be angry and sad when I needed to be but also how to leave those emotions behind me to move on to the more positive.

                  I have learned that I am a stronger person than I ever knew and I can face anything that may be in my future.