As I sit here typing this, a winter storm is moving in from the North-West that is going to blanket most of Germany in snow. We’re only supposed to get a couple of inches but other places will get almost a foot. And in this region, that’s pretty much unheard of. We’ve been here in Germany for 9 years now, always around Frankfurt, and I don’t think we’ve had as much snow all of those previous years combined as we’ve had so far this winter. It’s just crazy. And they say our biggest concern should be global warming…hah!

Now if you look at the headlines of the most read (and most sensational) newspaper in Germany, Bild — the paper of the people, you might think that the world is about to end here in Germany:

“Weather warning for almost every area….Snow Storm Darkens Germany”

Deh, deh, deh…cue the ominous music.

I have to admit that over the last hour or so, it has gotten considerably darker, the wind is picking up (I actually just went outside to do a Hof check to make sure there’s not anything that can become a flying weapon in the predicted 65kmh (40mph) winds — might have gotten frost bite on my fingers because it’s just that cold out there but whatever) and the snow should be starting at any minute.

Once it starts snowing it’s supposed to keep going until about midnight…and then we will have more light snow off and on until next TUESDAY!

Um, what?

I mean this is what our weather warnings look like on the map of Germany:

There’s only one other color above red…and that’s purple. Which I guess means you’re in serious trouble because I don’t think we’ve ever seen that one yet.

Seriously. In other parts of Germany, this is pretty normal. In Bavaria for example, they get snow by the truckloads. And when I lived in Virginia they would close school if even one flake fell because it probably meant we were about to get 3 feet and the buses couldn’t get up and down the mountain to bring kids home. But having this much snow here near Frankfurt would be like having a foot of snow in MIAMI! People there pull out their big bubble jackets when it drops below 70°F. Trust me, I’ve seen them while I was at The U.

To be honest, after Friday it can snow all it wants. Stefan will be on vacation and he won’t need to drive the 30 km twice daily to work. We can go take Mack sledding and build more snow penguins and snow gators…maybe we’ll finally even have a white Christmas. But while Stefan is at work, it would just be better if he doesn’t have to drive with all those maniacs in his evening commute!

Here’s a fun fact: You might think your German neighbors are just being courteous when they get out there and shovel the snow off the sidewalk. But it’s actually a law! Yep. From 8am until 8pm, people must keep their sidewalks clear of ice and snow. If someone should fall on your stretch of sidewalk and injure themselves, you are responsible for their medical bills. So all you housewives, Omas and kids, don’t think you can wait until someone else comes homes to take care of the snow pile up! I have had to sweep and shovel snow more times than I’d like to count already this year…but it’s a great workout and it has to be done. Just remember: if less people have walked through it, it’s a whole lot easier to get off the sidewalk! It will turn into a compact ice patch if you wait too long!!

Want to know something else about German laws? All cars driving during the winter must be fitted with winter tires. Fines have been bumped up from €20 to €40 if you get caught driving without them (they’re clearly marked with a little “M+S” marking which stands for Matsch und Schnee (slush and snow)).

On one hand it’s a great boost for tire and wheel manufacturers. Because a lot of people still don’t have them (it’s not like this hasn’t been a law they’ve talked about for a while but I guess people were in denial), there was a big shortage of winter tires this year and prices tripled for some cars. Obviously the companies that mount the tires and/or store your summer tires for you are also benefiting from all this too. Wait, storage of your tires? Oh yes. If you don’t feel like schlepping those dirty summer tires home to stack up somewhere or just don’t have a place for them, they can be stored for you…for a fee of course. And when you get your summer tires put back on next year, they’ll store the winter ones for you.

But to be honest, when it’s icy out there, winter tires make your car hug the road a whole lot better. Especially if the roads look like this:

Which is pretty much what it looked like about a week ago when it snowed here and there were no plows out for hours.

As I mentioned, I lived in Virginia…I learned how to drive there. I not only know how to drive in snow but I also downright enjoy it most of the time. But I also drive a Defender now which might as well be a tank. And it is painfully clear that most of the other people on the road are terrified and have no clue what they are doing. Which brings up back to the headlines above which boast of snow panic and “snow storms that bring darkness to Germany.”

What you think about the current weather where you are? Do the winters seem to be getting a bit more harsh lately or is it just me??