Today is Mackenzie’s first day of preschool. How in the world did we get here so quickly?
I know it might not seem like a bit deal to some, but to this mommy who has had her little girl around all the time for the past 3 years, it’s that first step toward her independence and moving out of the house. 😉
I actually never thought it would be so hard, and for the last few weeks, I have been holding it together pretty well. Stefan seemed more affected about her starting school than I was. But perhaps I was simply just trying to keep it out of my mind so the tears wouldn’t come.
As a work at home mom, I’ve had the opportunity to be there with Mackenzie as she has been growing up and to experience all those moments of her day that matter. And now, I have to share her with someone else. Which is hard for my heart to swallow.
I know that it’s going to be great for her and that I’m going to appreciate the 4 or so hours during the day when I get to have some peace in the house to get work done. But it’s oddly still here at the moment. Perhaps I’ll just have to pretend that she’s still asleep for a few days to keep my mind from thinking about her taking this first step of growing up.
Somehow I managed to keep it together in front of her as we said goodbye, even when she started crying as we walked out the door. But I don’t imagine I’d be all that fun to have around today since I can barely think straight and have a constant case of watery eyes.
She’s been telling me for the last few weeks that she didn’t need me and that she is a big girl. Those words only gave small tinges of sadness compared to the jolt I’ve had today. And I know she’s in good hands there, although the next few weeks will be a challenge for her as she’s forced to talk more in German and hone her language skills. Which of course only helps to compound my aching heart/guilt.
The preschool just called to let me know that she’s settled down and is playing and having fun. While it makes me happy that she’s not going crazy and missing us still, it also just makes the realization of her becoming a big girl all that more apparent.
Guess I’ll just have to cuddle Ayla and the kitties a few extra times today as I drown myself in work to fill the void. Even the dog seems to be wondering where the kiddo has gotten off to. It’s going to be an adjustment for us all.
No wonder some people have kids every few years — it helps keep you young and you get to enjoy those first three years of having them all to yourself all over again. But I don’t know how some parents manage to do this over and over again with their kids, letting go of them so early. Maybe it gets easier the more you do it?
What happened to our little girl?
Believe me – it is hard to let go ! And it is not going to be easier when your baby starts school, has new friends to share more time, and the worst: college !!!!!
But your baby (!) is so ready for kindergarten !
I am feeling with you !
This morning was definitely one of the roughest mornings in the last 3 years of parenting. Our little girl is a big girl – inching out of the house. But you’ll see, soon enough it will be all cool!
Hang in there! My folks had 5 kids, and mom cried every time she sent one more of us off into the world…so more doesn’t necessarily make it easier. 😉 I’m sure before long you will have all adjusted, plus, I think it’s great that she gets to practice a second language at such a young age – a HUGE benefit to her!
I’m tearing up now reliving the pain when I went through it.. I feel for you, and wish I could tell you that it gets easier… But be glad that you had every day all day with her the first 3 years. 🙂
This reminds me of the day when I drove my oldest son (age 18) to kindergarten and he asked that I kiss him down the hill; not in front of the school. I never got over it, but I understood. Motherhood is a bitter-sweet job. Hugs & Blessings.
New follower from the hop 🙂
What a darling little girl and how proud you must be! This is one of many bittersweet moments you will experience.
My son is 16 and goes in for college classes 4 days a week, after being home-schooled for many. It isn’t easy to see him go, even now! But it does get easier. He really enjoys the college scene and I have more time to do my own thing.
Chin up Tiffany! You will enjoy her even more when she gets home 🙂
You may rest assured that your breaking heart is felt all the many miles away across the ocean here in Texas! The memories of giving you up for your first day of school were doubly frightening after having endured the loss your sister. I held you so close for the coming years only to have you disappear from my life to live in Germany after college.
Thank God that you both feel so deeply about Mackenzie to the point of tears…now you have some idea of this old Mom’s love for all of you.
Oh my. We’re going to have to deal with this very soon, and I have mixed feelings! But I still have a little one to keep home for another year or more.
Oh dear…we’re heading in the same direction… except Bella knows not one lick of German. Any hints?
Well, Mack really doesn’t speak any German at all…although she does understand quite a bit (or at least she leads us to believe she does.) The leader of the preschool said they’ve had a few kids come in that didn’t speak any German in the past. One of them spoke only Italian and was fluent in 8 weeks. So I’m sure Bella will adapt. And I’m finding that her teachers know a lot more English than I expected. One of them actually gives an English class for the kids once a week. When they’re really little, they tend to pick it up quickly — and it’s us adults that end up being far more nervous and uneasy about all of it. 🙂