Dear Mackenzie,

I can hardly believe that you are four years old. It seems like just a few short months ago that we made a trip to the hospital on that cold and icy night so that you could join us outside of the womb.

This birthday was one of the most fun ones to celebrate so far, mostly because you were so excited for nearly a week ahead of time as all the presents started arriving at home. Every day you were asking about when it would finally be time to open them all…and you got some of the coolest present ever, I have to say. Even our own super cool present for you of your very own bicycle was a bit overshadowed by the other gifts. But the nice thing is, as the gifts get cooler for you, they also get cooler for us too! 😉

You’ve joined a new preschool and truly seem to be loving it there, and for that I am truly grateful. Not only do I appreciate having solid working hours, but I am so elated that you actually enjoy going there and don’t cry or pitch a fit every time I leave. Hindsight is always 20/20, but it’s amazing to me that I didn’t notice before just how poorly your other preschool was run after I’ve been introduced to a few new ones. To know that you are in there, enjoying your time and making new friends instead of counting the seconds until I arrive back is worth more than I can express. Because you won’t be able to comprehend how much it killed me to leave you in your old preschool in those unhappy moments, thinking I was doing the right thing, until you have to go through the same process with your own child. Apparently Ayla is going through a similar process right now, though, because she isn’t quite sure where you’ve gone during the day…and when I take her with me to drop you off at school, she seems to feel that it would be safest if she stayed there to guard and protect you — which I can totally relate to. 😉

Your appreciation for new foods is growing and you’ve decided that there can be things better than just plain noodles with Parmesan cheese. You ate Spaghetti Bolognese for 7 days straight a few weeks ago after we tried out a restaurant nearby for the first time. It was a tiny little Italian place with incredible food and great prices, and you loved the pasta so much that you finished almost a whole bowl of it. Before you could polish it all off, I tried a tiny bit, which was so good that I decided to make some at home. And then you ate it and ate it and ate it.

You have become the most lovable, sweet, funny little girl in that time and I can hardly believe that two people who had no clue what they were doing managed to produce such an awesome kid. You have enriched our lives in ways we never thought possible and helped us to look beyond our own selfish only-child ways on a regular basis. And I often think that you’ve made us better people just by being in our lives. One really can never understand how special it is to be a parent until you actually become one.

This is the last of the birthday letters I’ll be posting for a long while. Perhaps it will become a yearly thing or perhaps I will only write them to you privately. But it seems that you’re now reaching a stage where telling the world about your every move could come back to haunt me one day…and the last thing I want to do is jeopardize your happiness.

My deepest love,

Mommy